One in four adults has some type of disability in the United States. The World Health Organization defines a disability as “the interaction between individuals with a health condition… and personal and environmental factors”. Disabilities are a natural part of being human and almost everyone will temporarily or permanently experience disability at some point in their lives. Disabilities may be visible or invisible and a person may or may not use adaptive equipment or accommodations. People living with disabilities face social, educational, employment, architectural, and transportation barriers every day, and the fight for disability rights is ongoing.  

Teach Children about Disabilities

Children begin to notice differences in other people at a very young age. Parents often feel unprepared to guide their children when they meet someone with a disability. Children may comment on someone’s appearance or adaptive equipment and ask blunt questions. Here are some tips for teaching your children how to be respectful and empathetic in interactions with people with different abilities:

1. Embrace your child’s curiosity. When your child asks a question about someone with a disability, consider it an opportunity to talk about a new and interesting topic rather than turning disability into a topic to be avoided.

2. Be honest and direct. Give direct answers to your child’s inquiry. With younger kids a simple statement will normally give them what they are looking for. For example, in response to the question “What is that thing in his stomach?” you could reply, “This is Jack’s feeding tube. Some people eat through their mouth like you do, and others eat through their stomach like Jack.” Simple. Honest. Direct.

3. Avoid making assumptions and interpretations. Whether you know the person your child is asking about or not, avoid adding your interpretation of how a person may feel about their disability or what caused it. You don’t know what that person is feeling or experiencing if you haven’t taken the time to get to know them.

4. Keep your explanations positive. Kids are like sponges. If you use positive language with your child, they will continue to use that kind of language on their own. For example, explain that hearing aids help others hear and wheelchairs help others move around, instead of using a negative connotation (he can’t hear, she can’t walk, etc.) 

5. Lead by example.If you stare, point, quietly move to the other side of the street, whisper about someone, talk down to, or raise your voice high like you would a little child when talking to someone with a disability, your child will see, hear and internalize those behaviors and knee-jerk reactions. Take the time to become aware of your own attitudes, beliefs and assumptions around disability before talking to your kids. 

6. Prepare for tough questions and avoid shushing their questions. It is not uncommon for kids to ask questions like, “What’s wrong with that girl?” When an adult hears this, they often try to shush their kids. They are embarrassed that their child said something rude and potentially hurtful to another person. However, it is key to remember that children are not trying to be rude, they are trying to make sense of what they are seeing. A question like that however can be damaging if not addressed in an appropriate way. Explain to your kids that there is nothing wrong with people with disabilities. Explain that a child may have trouble talking or difficulty in a group situation but that doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with them.

7. Talk about human diversity (and neuro-diversity) with your kids. We are all different in some way and that we all do things every day to adjust to our unique circumstances. For example, someone who wears glasses uses them to correct blurry vision, just as someone who is non-verbal may use an assistive device like an ipad to communicate. 

8. Emphasize similarities and shared interests. ALL kids are kids first and foremost and everyone wants the same things – to have friends, to play, to be loved, to laugh, feel included and to participate in activities together with their friends and family. We are relational beings at our core and emphasizing similarities helps kids relate to one another.

9. Learn about disabilities together. As kids get older they are able to ask more complex questions and are hoping to get more complex responses. Take your kids questions as opportunities to learn about different disabilities together. What do you know about Downs Syndrome? Autism Spectrum Disorder? Cerebral Palsy? Sensory Processing Disorder? If your child asks about one of these and you don’t feel prepared to answer your child’s question in the moment you can always say, “ I’m not sure. I will think about it and get back to you.” or “ I don’t’ know much about [name specific disability], let’s learn more about it together.”

10. Facilitate conversation. No matter the age, social interaction with kids and teens stems from having shared experiences together. In school settings taking classes together, participating in an after school club together or sport create these opportunities. Outside of school, kids interact with each other in places like the playground. For some kids, making a friend on the playground is easy. For others, and many children with disabilities this is not as easy. Adults can help kids with and without disabilities talk to each other, to help them find common ground, understand different forms of communication, slow down a conversation if kids need more time to process or to help the kids really hear what the other said.

Source: Seattle Children’s PlayGarden

How To Choose Books That Respectfully Feature Disability

As with any book we select for our children, we want to share positive depictions of diverse characters. In the case of disabilities, there is a history in children’s books of depicting people with disabilities as stereotypical characters that evoke pity rather than fully formed people living with a disability in everyday life. Here are some helpful guidelines from the Anti-Defamation League that we can use to help choose books that address disability. Seek out books that:

• Use language that stresses the person first and the disability second (people with disabilities, not disabled people).  
• Promote empathy and an overall feeling of understanding for people with disabilities, as well as provide accurate information about a specific disability.  
• Demonstrate respect for and acceptance of people with disabilities, and depict them as more similar than different from other people (“one of us” rather than “one of them”).  
• Emphasize the successes of people with disabilities and show their strengths and abilities along with their disabilities.  
• Promote positive images of persons with disabilities and represent them as strong, independent people, who others can look up to or admire.  
• Represent people with disabilities from different racial and cultural backgrounds, religions, age groups, and sexual orientations. 
• Depict valued occupations for persons with disabilities and show them in diverse and active roles.  
• Depict people with disabilities in integrated settings and activities—in school, at work, or in the community among peers with and without disabilities.  
• Illustrate characters and adaptive equipment accurately. 

Sharing Stories Featuring Characters with Disabilities 

This month our ABAR classroom book baskets include a selection of books featuring characters with disabilities and stories written by authors with disabilities. Here are a few of the titles:

For more options, check out Social Justice Books or Disability in KidLit 

We Move Together

You may enjoy reading We Move Together with your children. This read aloud video includes an audio description of the illustrations and closed captioning to make it more accessible to everyone:

Want to Learn More?

If your family is interested in learning more about the history of Disability Rights in the United States, here are some resources:

Crip Camp – The story of a groundbreaking summer camp that galvanized a group of teens with disabilities to help build a movement, forging a new path toward greater equality. Note, this movie contains content and themes that may be best suited for older children.
About the movie
Link to watch the full movie

Denver was one of the first sites of disability rights protests that led to public buses becoming wheelchair accessible. 
Story via 5280 Magazine
Documentary via PBS

The History of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) via the ACLU
In Their Own Words
Crafting the Law
The ADA Becomes Law

The Disability Rights Movement, 30 Years After The ADA
A conversation with three disability rights activists: Alice Wong, Judy Heumann, and Britney Wilson.
Interview audio and transcript.  

Beginning this month, the ABAR Book Club will begin reading the book How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi. If you are interested in joining us, please complete this form to be added to the email list. There is no expectation that you will attend every meeting. In fact, we encourage you to join the email list even if you are busy and unsure whether you’ll make every meeting. The book club discussion will be held via Zoom on these dates:
Monday, January 24 at 7:30 pm: Chapters 1-4
Monday, February 28 at 7:30 pm: Chapters 5-9
Monday, April 4 at 7:30 pm: Chapters 10-13
Monday, May 2 at 7:30 pm: Chapters 14-18
The Longmont Library has multiple copies available, as well an excellent audiobook version available on the Libby or OverDrive apps. Join us to learn, discuss questions, and share insights!